


pull me beneath your tides

by sunkwans



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, Explicit Language, Falling In Love, Humor, M/M, Magical Artifacts, Mermaid Hyungwon, Mermaid Kihyun, changkyun just wants some loving, haHA last minute add of gun cause i love him and honey bee doesn't need to be alone, hyunwoo is such a dad, jooheon wants to go home, kihyun and hyungwon hate each other but they're best friends, kihyun needs a man, lmao i'm trying to be serious but this shit isn't working, medium burn???, minhyuk is wild, probably not a slow burn, wonho is a tease
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 16:56:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13792068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkwans/pseuds/sunkwans
Summary: changkyun had always managed to find a place on the sand. he felt comfortable with the cool water licking at his ankles and the stars resting on his shoulders.he loved it there; he felt safe and he didn't feel like he had anything to owe the water that bristled before him. until he swims too deep and he can't find his way out of the waves because they'resostrong, and his life is saved by a creature lurking below.**mermaid!kihyun and emo!changkyun because bby is always in his feelings (same though)





	1. the pull of fate (intro)

**Author's Note:**

> hello beautiful readers,,,,
> 
> 'tis my first monsta x fic and after watching the full first season of monsta x-ray and then half of season 2, i decided i can finally write about my fav ships so yay for that
> 
> this is just an intro, so excuse the shortness of it, and the lame-ness of it (don't think that's a word but work with me) everything will pick up soon enough :)))
> 
> anyways, enjoy <33

Changkyun had really been trying his hardest. Like,  _really_ , been trying, but sometimes his body decided to unsync and his limbs would wave around without his permission. So, yes, he'd really been trying to work as a good employer at the new,  _convenient,_ coffee shop that opened up down the street from his house. He'd gone a month and a half without fucking up, but honestly, with his luck, it was too good to be true. 

He had made a perfect, steaming hot Americano, with two shots of espresso and those cute foam drawings on the top, (because the shop he worked at was just  _that_ boujee), and he'd walked to the costumer's table without as much as even a little stumble. He'd been just so great, right? Then, of course, as soon as he got to the table he tripped over his own damn feet and the coffee sloshed over the edge of the shitty styrofoam cup-  _all_ over the person seated patiently. Changkyun nearly fell on his knees, bowing lowly with probably hundreds of apologies falling from his lips. 

He'd gotten fired, of course, but the person had been kind enough to not tell Changkyun to stick his apologies up where the sun doesn't shine. She'd just waved away his apologies and cleaned the  _still steaming_ coffee off of her thighs. 

The manager, a really nice guy that Changkyun actually got along with quite well named Kim Namjoon, had fired him- very unwillingly, surprisingly. He hadn't wanted to fire Kyun, but he kind of had to because Changkyun  _did_ injure one of the customers. 

So that's how Changkyun found himself walking past his home- which was, again, right down the street from the  _convenient, new_ coffee shop- and further down the sidewalk, until the clusters of buildings were long gone. He walked this route a lot, never feeling as shitty as he did currently, but enough to where he could probably walk the way with his eyes closed.

He didn't, though. He left his eyes open and followed along the growing buildings and shops, letting his eyes roam but not linger for too long. Throughout the few years of him walking this path, many new buildings had showed up, places he had yet to look through. Changkyun always  _wanted_ to see the inside of the new, interesting shops, but every time he walked through the narrow streets, he had a destination already in mind. He grabbed his phone and headphones from his pockets, playing his soft music and watching the sun fall lower and lower in the sky, leaving wisps of pinks and reds shifting in its wake. 

 

The waves were loud. They brushed against the soft sand in globs of foamy white, bubbles clinging to the ground. The only light Changkyun had on the beach was the city lights and the pale moonlight that clung to his skin like liquid silver. It was beautiful, truly, and Kyun loved watching the stars kiss the sea as the waves shook and trembled. He felt at home on the sea. There, he had no responsibilities, nothing he could fuck up. No one there to judge him when he let a few hot, salty tears slip from his eyes. Sure, there were people walking along the sand- it was summertime, and there were tourists and families looking to spend time together- but no one Changkyun knew, people who make fun of Kyun for crying on the sand. 

It was hard. Being alive was hard- living was hard. Kyun felt this urge, a desperation clinging to the tips of his fingers. He wanted to feel the salty water clinging to his skin, washing away his worries- metaphorically, of course, because when he left the ocean everything would come rushing back to him, same as always- and taking them somewhere far away. So Changkyun slipped off his tennis shoes and socks, setting them far enough away from the water line to where he knew the cool ocean water wouldn't ruin them, dropping his phone and headphones down as well, and he let his feet sink into the sand as he made his way to the sea. The beads of sand slipped between his toes, but it felt good against his warm skin. 

His mother always scolded him when he came home shivering, despite the warm weather, because he'd swam in the ocean late at night, and the slight breeze chilled him to the bone. Luckily enough he only lived ten-or-so minutes away, but it always felt like longer when he could barely keep his teeth from chattering. 

The first touch of water made Changkyun gasp slightly. It was colder than he'd expected- it was barely mid-May, and it never seemed to get over 75 outside- but he liked the chill of the water. A shiver tore down his spine as he continued on, letting his feet cling to the sand at the bottom of the water. It felt gross and squished through his toes in the worst way, but this feeling was something that Changkyun was used to, something that he welcomed. He  _knew_ the whipping of wind around him, tossing his hair around his face and making it stick to his cheeks that were still wet with tears, he knew the salty water burning the small cuts on his ankles, he knew the smell of salt and sea- a smell he loved with all of his heart, because it meant comfort and it meant safety. The waves further out were rough, and Changkyun watched from the knee high water as the water capped and rushed past him, carrying white foam. During the night, the water would start to get more dangerous and the waves would become unforgiving- enough to where most of the water was just foam. Changkyun liked the threat the waves, posed though, and he tested the limit, letting his feet take him further. 

The water soaked through his thin t-shirt, making the dark fabric cling to his waist. His breath fell away from him as the cold water rose up to his chest. 

He pushed hard against the waves, jumping every time one blew past him as to not be sucked beneath the rushing water. Even if he was sad most of the time, Changkyun really didn't want to drown. 

As the waves rushed harder, slamming against Changkyun's body heavily, he swam around to go back, not trusting himself to stay above water. He wasn't a noodle but the waves were  _huge_ , and Changkyun was actually kind of nervous to go any further. His mom would probably kill him if he died- well, kill him  _again._ _(a/n: lmao sign me up i'd kick his ass if he died)_

He doggy paddled back to the shore, his arms getting tired from all the swimming, but the water too deep for him to be able to stand. Changkyun didn't expect the wave that crashed over the top of his head. 

First rule of being under water (unwilling being under water): don't panic.

It was a rule that Changkyun's mother had taught him when he started going to the beach all the time. She'd been so scared that he would get pulled under the waves and would never be able to resurface, so she gave him "Sea School", as she called it. 

And rule two (there was only two): when you did resurface (hopefully), swim away as quick as possible, as to not get caught under constant waves. Swim forward, and do it quickly. Take huge gulps of breaths, and find your way out of the waves. 

Changkyun had never forgotten his mother's rules, probably never would. At the time, he didn't think they'd come in handy, but fuck he was glad he'd gone to Sea School because otherwise he'd probably be losing his shit under the cold water. He wanted to freak out because, again, the water was fucking cold and his lungs already started to burn. (He would've never been a good singer because he could barely hold his breath for twenty seconds. Also his voice sounded like shit.)

Once bubbles stopped roaring around his head, Changkyun let himself resurface, taking in a huge gulp of air- clean, water-free air that slightly soothed the burning in his lungs- and swam forward, forgetting his doggy paddle and going full olympic swimmer. 

 _Not quick enough,_ the water seemed to whisper in his ears, dragging him below the cool sea again, stealing away his clean, water-free air. He didn't struggle against the claws the water had dug into the back of his shirt, but he was getting scared; he could feel his stomach clenching with nerves and his ears ringing with fear. His heart was pounding against his ribcage, hard and heavy like a stick ramming onto a drum. 

He felt as if he'd been under the water for hours. His lungs were burning, and he knew that if he hadn't been underwater (which, obviously you couldn't drown without water), he would've been crying- from fear, from the fire raging through his throat, he didn't know. His eyes were burning, maybe with the large amount of salt littering the cold water that had slipped behind his tightly shut eyelids, or maybe it was because of the desperation to get out, the fear of never being able to do that. 

Changkyun counted to twenty before resurfacing again, not even gasping in breaths, and instead swimming forward. He used his entire body to drag him forward, ripping his arms through the water as fast as he could, while also breathing deeply through his nose. 

Again, though, the water whispered and laughed at his attempts, dragging him below. 

Now, Changkyun panicked. His arms thrashed against the water, and he broke through to the air, inhaling as the water pulled him down again. He gulped in a worryingly large amount of water, the salt-water clogging up his throat. He pushed up again, arms pushing and pushing against the silky water, but he got nothing. He didn't move at all, his body anchored below the deadly sea. 

Changkyun had never been good at giving up. Back in sixth grade there were these kids (read: young assholes in the making) who had always told Changkyun he could never make it into the talent show because he was "talentless". Changkyun had found something that he liked and he'd practiced until he knew that he was good enough at it to make it onto that stage. Turns out teachers really love a kid who can jumprope. 

And, again, a few years ago when Changkyun's best friend Jooheon had bet him he couldn't get a guy's number at the bar they were at, and turns out Changkyun was actually attractive to a few people. 

Never, though, had Changkyun had to fight for his life- against something as strong and as unforgiving as the ocean. It was beautiful and vast, and everything Changkyun loved, but it was deadly and dangerous, and Changkyun was coming to realized he might've been naïve his whole life for trusting the water. 

He fought against the water still, but nothing was happening. He was beginning to get light headed, his arms and legs began to feel heavier- something like lead, an anchor dragging him lower and lower into the water- and he could barely move them any more. 

His last thought before he passed out was:  _I hope my mom stays happy without me._

 


	2. one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changkyun is saved and really needs a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really should start pre-writing my stories before posting them, but i'm way too lazy
> 
> just a warning that this chapter is mildly angsty, especially at the beginning, buT it gets better my dudes
> 
> happy reading <3

Changkyun's life wasn't dull. He'd been born during January, when the snow was heavy. His mother nearly didn't make it to the hospital because of the large amounts of snow, and even though it wasn't  _really_ his fault, he always apologized for worrying her- although she would always tell him he was her "snow angel" and thatshe wouldn't want him any other way. 

Him and his father hadn't been very close, but Changkyun looked up to his father in many ways. His dad was smart and he worked hard, and Changkyun had always wanted to be like him. One of Changkyun's biggest fears was disappointing his dad (that and spiders, because those spindly fucks  _really_ riled him up) and, with how his life had been going recently, Changkyun might've done just that. 

His mother, though... she was Changkyun's favorite person. She was loving- no matter what, despite Changkyun being gayer than a rainbow- and even if Changkyun lost literally every job he got because of how clumsy he was. She fed him and clothed him, and  _helped him._ She would always tell him that there wasn't a love as strong as a mother had for their child, and he would always reply with "what about what a child had for their mother", which, he'd admit was very strong, but she would shake her head and kiss his forehead, speaking in something other than words, but speaking so loud she was almost yelling. He could love his mom with his whole heart, but she'd created him, in a way, had watched him grow, had held him inside of her as he formed. Nothing- absolutely nothing- could touch that bond.  _(a/n: this is the cheesy shit my mom tells me and it makes me love her so much more like uGH it's so sweet)_

When he'd lived in Boston for three years, and then Israel for four years after that, it showed him that some people had life much easier than him, and some of them had it much harder, and that was just the way it was. He'd found himself grateful-  _so,_ so grateful- for the life he'd been given, for the family he had. 

He didn't want to leave his parents. He didn't want to think about how his mom would be seated at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee steaming in front of her but untouched, while she waited for her son to come home, only to find out that he'd never return. Didn't want to think about how his dad's labs would be abandoned because he'd be too busy mourning his only son and comforting his grieving wife. His room would become cold and dusty, because his mom wouldn't be able to enter it to clean it. The dinner table would be silent because the third chair, the one always full of a bright, loving child, would be empty and it would be  _felt._ That emptiness would ache through the house, would ache through his parents, through his friends- his best friend, Jooheon, the one Changkyun had been able to count on since he was small and impressionable and was bullied for looking and acting different. The world would miss Im Changkyun, and there was nothing he could do to change the fact as he fell further and further into the rough sea. 

 

*

Kihyun often prided himself on being able to swim amazingly fast for a mermaid. Obviously, being a mermaid, their tails were able to brush against the waves like wind through the sky, and he could find himself halfway across the ocean in seconds. His best friend, Hyungwon, had always had trouble keeping up- even though his tail was sleeker and longer, just like his legs would be if he had them. 

To the other mermaids around them, they were just blurs of pink and violet, swirling around the ocean like underwater tornados. Maybe they were the cause of the roughening waves above. Maybe no one would ever know. 

But their laughs carried, Kihyun's like separate gasps and Hyungwon's loud and reverberating. They could probably be heard from miles away, but that was most likely thanks to everyone's advanced hearing. 

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Yoo Kihyun!" Hyungwon yelled, his tail moving faster than it had been, which didn't seem to be very possible, but did Hyungwon give a shit? Hell no. 

Kihyun laughed again. "For what? Being faster than you? You're going to need a better reason than that, grandpa. I could swim faster than you in my sleep. Better take notes on how to _actually_ swim."

"Your ass is grass," was all Hyungwon said, a hint of that competitiveness joining the playfulness in his voice. 

Kihyun smiled as he pushed himself further, not yet feeling the exhaustion that usually came with swimming too fast or too much. (Which would come in handy in a little bit.)

Hyungwon was quiet- which was slightly worrying, because the kid hadn't shut up since he'd opened his eyes- but Kihyun put that on him focusing with his whole body instead of just his tail. 

It wasn't as fun when there wasn't any playful banter, so Kihyun slowed down the movements of his tail slightly, enough to where he knew Hyungwon could catch up if he was truly trying to. He watched other mermaids swim past him, their tails glinting with the silver from the moon and shining beautifully. He loved the ocean, loved being down there with the people he'd known for his entire life, but he wanted something more. He wanted to be free, wanted to watch his tail shift into legs.

Kihyun stopped swimming all together, turning around to smile at Hyungwon. He wasn't swimming behind Kihyun, though, and instead seemed to be conversing with someone else a few feet away. Hyungwon was leaning forward into the conversation, interested in what he was hearing, his tail swishing slowly through the silky water. 

He watched Hyungwon for a moment- watching his body language change slightly and become more rigid- before he swam over, worried about whatever Hyungwon was hearing. 

"Kihyun-ah, I need you and Hyungwon to me a favor," was the first thing Kihyun heard when he swam over to Hyungwon. He recognized the silver tailed mermaid to be Min Yoongi. Kihyun had heard mixed things about Yoongi, but he found his company pretty enjoyable- they acted the same in a lot of ways, and they were both grumpy a lot of the time. 

Kihyun nodded. "What is it?"

Yoongi didn't waste any time: "There's a human who's swimming out a little too deep. The waves are rough and I don't doubt the ocean's power right now. I need the two of you to go up there and make sure he doesn't drown. I would hate for people to stop trusting the water."

Hyungwon still looked uneasy. He always liked humans, just as Kihyun did, but there was something different in the way Hyungwon acted. Kihyun was sure that his friend was keeping a secret from him, but he wasn't going to force anything from him. He wanted Hyungwon to know that he could trust Kihyun and could come to him for anything. 

"We'll go," Kihyun said with a small smile. "Do you know a relative location of where he is?"

Yoongi gave them as much information as he had. Kihyun didn't know why the two of them where his first choice, seeing as they were fairly young; maybe it had something to with the fact that they were so open about wanting to see the sand and know what it was like to have two feet and ten toes. 

Hyungwon and Kihyun swam in silence, pushing against the heavy waves easily. 

The ocean  _was_ particularly rough on the clear night which worried Kihyun. There was a storm brewing deep beneath the water. Kihyun hoped- and maybe it was naive and childish- that the ocean's rough waves would bring some chaos into his perfectly boring life; maybe even bring him the love he was so helplessly searching for. 

His heart reached out to the person him and Hyungwon were swimming to. If they didn't make it in time this kid would lose his life. His future would be washed away with the waves and he'd never be able to reach the dreams he may have set for himself. His family may never see him again, his friends could forget the sound of his voice and the way he laughed. They  _had_ to make it in time.

"I can literally hear you thinking and I can feel the acne forming on my chin. Calm your clams, Ki, jesus. We can't help this kid if you're all existential crisis mode and thinking twenty years in the future. You need to be level-headed if you want to be of any sort of assistance. So, please..."

Kihyun sighed lowly, not sparing the time to glance over at his friend beside him. Hyungwon was probably right- and although Kihyun would absolutely, positively, never fucking admit it- Hyungwon usually was the calmest of the two, especially compared to Kihyun's problem of getting angry way too easily. "I know. It's just... we kind of hold his life in our hands. I know you have long fingers and good hands but mine are all small and my fingers are stubby. Not good for holding lives, you know? And what if this kid would turn out to be the smartest human alive, or something, or become a world famous idol that gave hundreds of people a reason to live. What if we're holding hundreds of people's lives in our hands? In my small, stubby hands."

"If you don't shut the fuck up in two seconds I'm going to slap you so hard with my tail that your pufferfish ancestors are going to explode. He'll be fine, and probably won't end up being an idol. He's probably old and ugly, okay? Stop freaking out because it's bothering me."

"Excuse me for having feelings, your Highness," Kihyun said sarcastically, a small twinge of annoyance in his stomach. Hyungwon was his best friend- probably one of the best people Kihyun had ever met- but he always seemed to look down upon Kihyun for having feelings. Maybe it was just Hyungwon's way of protecting himself from the disappointment that everyone always found in the world. 

Hyungwon chuckled lightly, as if not picking up upon the tinge in Kihyun's voice. "You know I love you and your feelings. They're just so strong, especially for someone we've never met and will probably never see again, you know? You just feel so easily. You'll get hurt like that, Ki."

"Whatever. I'd rather get hurt than never feel anything. It's one or the other, you know? But I shouldn't radiate my anxiety on this guy we're saving. Do you know how to resuscitate this guy if we need to? Don't we just.. breathe down his throat?"

Hyungwon sighed heavily, "You have no idea how hard it is for me to understand you half of the time. You talk so quickly that your pronunciation is off and it sounds like you're speaking gibberish- which would be a whole new level of freak out for you. I think the worst you've done was cry literal sea crystals. Yes that's exactly how you resuscitate a human. We need to be careful, though. They're so fragile."

Kihyun's heart was thumping heavily against his ribcage. He'd never done too well under pressure; sure, he was confident, but when something was on the line- especially someone's life- he would feel all gross and his heart would shove against his chest like a hammer. 

He could smell when they got close- could smell the human's fear and desperation. It was almost suffocating. 

"Be calm, Ki. We could be the reason this guy lives or dies, understand?" Hyungwon's voice was level and calm, just like it always was. It never shook embarrassingly when he was afraid, it never flew up a couple octaves when he was nervous- so Kihyun fed off of his best friend's calmness, let it wash over him as they reached below the water for a drowning person. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mildly short because i didn't know how to continue it without it seeming forced?? let me know if this is written horribly and i'll re write the chapter (i had so much trouble with it idk why)
> 
> it's spring break for me sO i spent two days binge watching no mercy because i wanted to see how far the boys have come, right??? wELL apparently on the way to seeing the creation of this beautiful group i became emotionally attached to two guys by the name of gunhee and minkyun!!!!! which was super great for me when both of them left (minkyun's elimination was so emotional for all of us i had a headache for hours because i cried so much)  
> now that i've seen how far that they've come (and how lucky we are for having kyun aM I RIGHT???) i feel like i can appreciate them so much more for everything :') 
> 
> anYWAYS,,, kudos & comments are always appreciated (also thanks for reading this it's my child) 
> 
> xoxo,  
> tori <3


	3. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> changkyun wakes up and finds himself in good company. (minus the frog-faced man with purple hair.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!!
> 
> this chapter is dedicated to my beloved rebecca-unni (<3) and alsO in honor of the new monsta x album release :))
> 
> jealousy was an amazing (and sexy wym) music video and my love hyungwon who has _cherry blossom_ colored hair looked so stunning i was literally wheezing- and destroyer was beAUTIFUL just like i knew it would be
> 
> ok i'm done,, enjoy this!! i tried to be funny pls appreciate my boring ass trying to make jokes

Changkyun's mom had a habit of waking him up gently. He was usually very easy to wake up- any sort of loud noise and he was awake, afraid for his  _dear_ life- but his mom always turned on his light and sat on the empty space in his small bed, running her fingers through Changkyun's messy bed hair, saying his name softly to rouse him from dreams. He would often wake with a smile, which was as rare as it was beautiful. (Or so his mom would _so_ embarrassingly say.)

Changkyun's dad was a whole other story. His father- who was never very loud, usually too busy being a genius to worry about speaking much- would bang on Changkyun's door with all of the power in his soft scientist hands. It was almost as if someone had called the SWAT team to their family's little house. It always got the result his father wished it to, of course, but not without scaring the shit out of Changkyun and giving him three separate heart attacks. 

In all of his years, though, Changkyun would never imagine himself saying that he'd rather take his father's heart attack-causing wake up methods rather than the way he found himself gasping awake through a bubble of water and a fire in his lungs. 

Changkyun leaned forward, his head between his knees and hands clinging to the wet, sticking sand, as he coughed up one of his kidneys and his small intestine. His throat burned through the salt water that was being forced from his lungs. Changkyun almost didn't want to stop coughing because- despite feeling like he'd actually,  _literally_ died- he was conscious enough to feel a warm pressure on his back. 

It was still dark and late enough that the only sounds were the waves crashing against the clinging sand- the same fucking waves that betrayed Changkyun and had actually tried to kill him because they were tired of his self-pity. Maybe if it was daytime there would be people crowded around Kyun, worried and asking if he needed an ambulance or something equally as dramatic. But because Changkyun's life was turning out to be the world's worst reality TV show- the same world that Jersey Shore aired on, by the fucking way- the only person there was the silent one watching Changkyun leave all of his organs in the sand. 

When the coughing stopped, the pressure didn't leave Changkyun's back. It just moved itself into small, soothing circles. Every time a wave crashed onto the shore it re soaked Changkyun, but he couldn't find it in himself to complain. He was alive. He would be able to see his friends again- able to see his parents and hug his mom. 

"So..." Changkyun's voice was rough, torn at the edges like a forgotten sheet of paper left at the bottom of some kid's backpack. Literally all he wanted to do was close his eyes and sleep again, but he refused to let his body turn off. "Did you save my life or do I have to thank someone else for not letting the sea monsters eat me?"

There was a small chuckle- someone there had an odd sense of humor, not that Changkyun could talk because every time he saw that video of the kid getting dragged by their dog he lost it- before someone sighed out a reply. 

"Yes, we saved your life. And you're welcome, but please don't actively try to die again. Kihyun and I can't save everyone who decides to do dumb shit late at night because their girlfriend broke up with them."

Although Changkyun really hated to admit it, the dude had a nice voice- he just wished he could see his face so Changkyun could say how ugly he is.  _Probably super ugly. Like blob fish ugly._

"Stop being an ass," came another voice.  _How many fucking people am I going to have to thank for my life, damnit,_ Changkyun thought. "The kid did almost just die. But... Hyungwon isn't wrong. I get that love is hard, or unfair, or  _whatever,_ but there's no need to drown yourself."

"I didn't try to drown myself! There's so many more conventional ways to kill myself- but I'm not going to, because I don't  _want_ to. I just overestimated my swimming skills. Also, I don't have a girlfriend that broke up with me. You have to actually get a girlfriend- which is the first problem, considering the fact that I'm me and also not attracted to women. And second problem-"

Changkyun was cut off by another long sigh. "Please, keep the long tirade about how you're super gay and super not depressed for someone else. I'm a busy guy and I don't have time to listen to you talk. And I know you have a set of lungs on you because I just saw you cough them up."

That pulled a giggle out of Changkyun. He almost didn't want to stop laughing because he also didn't want to cry- and there's that stupid English saying  _"laughter is the best medicine"_ and he'd rather be healed by something as easy as laughing rather than admit to a doctor that he's a dumbass who tried to swim in yellow flag water at one in the morning. Changkyun stopped laughing to reply, "You're funny, but you also seem like an asshole. We'd probably be good friends."

"Maybe. I'm Chae Hyungwon, in case you want to write me a long letter about how amazing I am and how grateful you are for my existence. You can just leave it here tomorrow night, I'll probably be able to find it."

Changkyun nodded and shelved that information. "Thanks. And... Kihyun, right? Thank you, too. I am very grateful for your existence as well. And for your hand on my back because I'm pretty sure I would've fallen asleep without it."

The movement of the hand on Changkyun's back stilled momentarily- for a moment Kyun was afraid he'd said something wrong- but then the hand moved. "You're welcome. Yes, I'm Kihyun. Yoo Kihyun, the  _other_ one that saved your life."

Changkyun nodded, turning to the left with the hope that the light from the moon would help illuminate the face of whoever was beside him.  _There he is._ Must be Yoo Kihyun- big, plump lips, soft and dark curling hair falling onto his forehead. Handsome in a very obvious kind of way- someone who might even be a model. Changkyun, oddly enough, couldn't see hopefully-Kihyun's body, so maybe he was short and couldn't model because Korea (or any other place in the world) just didn't work that way.

"Please tell me you're Kihyun, because I've already come to a conclusion on what Hyungwon looks like and if I'm wrong and you're this good looking I'm going to be fucking pissed."

The guy smiled-  _wow_ , there's one attractive human ( _a/n: bitch what human lmao)._ Changkyun was almost offended at how good looking he was. "Incorrect. Hate to burst your bubble, but I don't look like an angry hamster like Kihyun, thank you very much."

Changkyun sighed sadly. "I can't even get this! Kihyun show yourself. If you do look like an angry hamster I'm leaving."

"Turn around you lug nut," Kihyun replied, sounding exasperated. 

 _How do I always manage to annoy people, it's a talent but also one I don't fucking want because I actually want friends,_ Changkyun thought as he whipped his head in the other direction.

 _Oh._ Changkyun had never found himself in the presence of many angry hamsters during his life. Sure, he'd seen the animals, even thought they were quite cute despite the fact that they were rodents. But Changkyun was positive that no hamster was that good looking. Light pink hair that was long and untamed but still charming _somehow_ , dark pink lips- nearing red, actually, the color dark and tempting. 

Changkyun nodded to himself, turning around to face the ocean again- pretending not to notice the warmth he felt radiating from his cheeks. He'd always been a sucker for pretty boys and the color pink. "Well. The highlight of this evening was me almost dying, I think. You two showed up and so did years of hidden insecurity. I think that you two owe  _me_ something for saving my life and still managing to look like that. Could you at least tell me your skin care routine?"

Hyungwon chuckled, at the sound was pretty and lilting- Changkyun's life was turning out to be the definition of unfair because how did someone like  _that_ exist? "Sea water helps, actually. The salt is a good exfoliant and it burns out any acne, you know? Ki and I have been using it for years."

Changkyun nodded again. "Cool, thanks. I think I'm done feeling bad for myself now. All that's left is to try and approach my mom smelling like fish piss. Hopefully she understands the importance of underwater sightseeing."

Changkyun held his hand out to Hyungwon, expecting a shake- Hyungwon didn't seem the hugging type- but instead getting exactly that. Hyungwon's skin was dry, which was weird especially if he'd pulled Kyun out of the water, which was wet. He was warm, though, and Changkyun didn't know for how long he'd been out or whatever. 

Hyungwon patted Kyun on the back once, awkwardly, before waving Changkyun off, as if he hadn't just given the boy a few more years on his life. (Hopefully.)

 _I thought I was weird,_ Kyun thought as he turned to Kihyun, arms outstretched for a hug. Despite feeling his stomach knot up at Kihyun's pretty brown eyes, Changkyun was nothing if not grateful, and Kihyun deserved at least a hug. Kihyun was just as warm and inviting as Kyun had expected, and he smelled fresh and sharp... something wild but welcoming. 

Changkyun stood, noticing a blanket covering the bottom half of the two men. Maybe they'd been on a date? Changkyun would feel like shit if he'd ruined their date with his almost-death. He really was a huge asshole. 

"Thanks again. Maybe I'll be back tomorrow with that long note. Who knows. See you later, guys," Kyun said, walking away with a small wave. He found himself too afraid to look back, afraid to see the spot in the dark sandwhere his unconscious body had laid. Afraid to see the waves that crashed against the sand threateningly. 

 

Changkyun was scared to go home. He didn't want to look his mother in the eyes, because all he would see was the way her brown eyes would fill with relief upon seeing her son- he couldn't deal with that guilt, not now. He already felt close to tears and his body was tired.  _So_ tired. All he wanted to do was sleep, to allow himself the mercy of closing his eyes and being able to open them easily the next morning. 

So, Changkyun went to the one place he knew he'd be able to do just that in, without all of the burning guilt and lingering self pity that was clinging to the edges of his stomach like vines wrapped around the trunk of a tree. 

For some reason, one that Changkyun had never been able to understand even after years of friendship, Lee Jooheon was always so kind. It was a miracle, but also a curse. People would find themselves subconsciously taking advantage of Jooheon's selflessness- Changkyun was one of those people, even though he never meant to, and even though Jooheon would promise that that's what best friends were for- but Jooheon would never stop giving. He was like a blackhole, but instead of absorbing, he  _radiated._ It was beautiful but it always made Changkyun sad to see his friend hurt because he was just too trusting, too naive. 

Jooheon had never told Changkyun no- even when Kyun had made the ridiculous suggestion that the two of them go skydiving, which Changkyun had only done for an experiment, because Jooheon was the world's biggest scaredy cat. He'd still said yes, even though Changkyun could see the shimmering of something oddly like tears in his eyes. (Changkyun had apologized profusely for the joke, had even bought Jooheon dinner because he felt like shit for almost making his best friend cry.)

Jooheon's boyfriend didn't have that same problem. Gunhee was perfectly fine saying no to Kyun, even if he used his prettiest puppy eyes. Big, brown orbs of desperation and Changkyun would find himself getting turned away without a blink of Gunhee's strangely-feminine eyes.

So, when Gunhee opened the door to Jooheon's apartment with matted hair and rumpled clothes (and lines on his face from his pillow that nearly made Changkyun lose it), Changkyun knew he was screwed. It was very late, and although Seoul was still moving, it didn't mean much because being in a big city one would come to find they were always moving. The stars that weren't seen in the city had to be out because the moon was still hanging high in the sky- albeit much lower than it was when Changkyun found himself taking on the large ocean with oddly confident strides- and gave everything a silver sheen that reminded Changkyun of those books he would read about space and aliens as a child. 

Changkyun did what any other person would do. He pushed passed Gunhee without even a word, not allowing Gun's slow brain to catch up with what was currently happening because Changkyun didn't care to be fair- he just wanted Jooheon and a warm shower. 

Even after Gunhee had moved in, Jooheon's apartment looked the exact same. Those same warm brown couches Changkyun had helped him pick out sat around the perimeter of a fluffy white rug that was preserved that color with an astounding amount of determination. The walls were still a warm gray color that Changkyun thought matched with everything. There was a coffee table sat in the middle of the white rug- the same coffee table that had given Changkyun hundreds of bruises, because despite never being moved, it still held the power of 100 armies. (And throughout all of that time Changkyun had yet to become more graceful.)

"Gun, I know you love Jooheon, and I'm sorry to say that him and I are a packaged deal. Right now, I really fucking need my best friend and I am going to take the world's fastest shower because water is currently not my favorite thing to exist, and I'm going to lay my sad ass in your bed beside said best friend. I hope you don't mind cuddling, because I'm in the middle." Changkyun was slightly panting after his  _very_ long conversation with Gunhee- who was currently staring at Changkyun as if he'd grown four heads, but also with a tired fondness that made Kyun smile slightly. 

Gunhee waved that away. "I'll take the couch. I hope whatever it is goes away. You're a good person, Changkyun. But I can sense Jooheon awakening, and I swear on all that is holy if I get yelled at I am going to punch you right in your fucking chili pepper, okay?"

Changkyun nodded. "Fair trade. I'll just... go then. Goodnight, Gun."

Gunhee saluted Changkyun lamely before closing (and locking) the front door, proceeding to flop down on the couch and pulling one of the throw pillows under his head and a folded blanket over his shoulders. He was snoring within seconds, and Changkyun couldn't help but grin softly. That fucking energetic crackhead asleep on the couch made his Jooheonie happy, and Changkyun couldn't ask for anything more. 

 

Changkyun hadn't lied. His shower was as short as he could possibly make it without still smelling of ocean and fish shit. He'd grabbed a few of Jooheon's clothes before showering, smiling at the sight of his best friend curled up in a tight ball under his comforter, dark brown hair wavy and splayed out on his moon-washed pillow. 

The water had been steaming hot and had made Changkyun's skin turn a bright, tomato red. Although it was stupid he felt like if he burned all the salt from his skin everything would feel right again. (He hadn't been correct, of course, but he felt like a new person with new skin, and that was better than nothing.)

When he got dressed he smelled like Jooheon and he felt warm and safe. Jooheon's shirt was much too big, because he was one size above Changkyun but also much taller than him, and Kyun liked the way the shirt was oversized on him. He could likely disappear into the material. 

Changkyun slipped out of the bathroom, laughing silently at the loud snoring of Gunhee coming from the living room couch, and making his way over to the empty side of Jooheon's bed. He pulled the sheets over him as he curled up beside the half-awake Jooheon. 

"My sweet honey bee. I almost died tonight," Changkyun said, his voice quiet and gentle, warring against the crash of emotions raging through his body, from the top of his head to the very tips of his toes. He was scared and he hurt, but most of all he was thankful, and he didn't know what to do with that. 

Jooheon pushed out a sad sigh, reaching out and gripping Changkyun's cold fingers in his own small, warm hands. "I'm beyond glad you didn't. But I can actually smell the emotions you're fighting off and I wish you wouldn't. Just feel, Kyun. It'll make it hurt a lot less in the long run."

Changkyun thought about it. Thought about letting himself cry, knowing that Jooheon would hold him until the tears ran dry and until his fingers stopped shaking. He knew this, and yet he was afraid to let himself go- always had been, because then he lost control, and Changkyun found himself out of control without his own permission way too much. "I'm scared to let myself cry."

Sometimes Changkyun didn't need words, because he'd forget about them- he had a terrible memory if he didn't actively try to remember things- and right now what he needed was action. Jooheon knew that, somehow he always knew, and he wrapped his arms around Changkyun's thin body, pulling him forward and forcing Changkyun to lay his head against Jooheon's warm chest. The thudding of Jooheon's heart was soothing and it calmed some of the storm in Kyun. 

"Don't be scared, sweet Kyunnie. Fear is such a useless emotion. You cry and I hold you, just like I always do, and just like you always do. We keep each other together, right? And in the morning, when your eyes are burning still, I'll be there to wipe away those tears. They always find a way off of your face, have you noticed? You have to let them out first, right?"

Changkyun nodded mutely, already feeling the stinging well in his eyes. The waves pushed against his skull, and with every blink he released a drop. He would slowly but surely drain the ocean of emotions clouding his body. He would be okay. There was nothing else to be but okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is, hopefully, going to have all those other guys- you know which ones i'm talking about 
> 
> i don't wanna cry but like jooKYUN IS SOME OF THE CUTEST SHIT FUCk i love platonic soulmates (i'm gonna stop yelling it's late oops)
> 
> anyWAYS,,,,,, kudos & comments are welcome <333
> 
> find me on twitter @hhobihugs :)))
> 
> -tori

**Author's Note:**

> next chapter (the real first chapter) will bring answers aND more characters!!!! it'll be longer, and the plot will finally begin :))) 
> 
> also,,, this started out kinda sad but changkyun is a funny guy and also i love (to attempt) being funny, so eventually kyun will exit his feels and enter the party zone. he did lose his job aND almost died (oR did he really die *dundundunnn*) in the same night so we gotta let it slide for now :)))
> 
> find me on twitter @hhobihugs <3
> 
> kudos & comments are welcome (and make me, the author, write slightly faster than a snail)
> 
> love,,,  
> tori <3


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